Monday, February 13, 2017
Adoption Stigmas
A child being adopted allows the birth mother to be shamed for abandonment or the "adoptive" parents to be saviors for adopting the child. The world focuses on the negative stigmas of adoption that are represented in society, when the positives outweigh the negatives. Adoption allows the birth mother to be selfless enough to give the child the possibility of a better life and for the "adoptive" parents to embrace the children with just as much love for their biological children they could've had. In the past, adoption was heard of, but only talked about in hushed tones. As time went on, more resources were available to keep their children increased, and people would then be more likely to expect the mother to keep the children. When the mother didn't keep the child others would question if what she was doing was right. These stigmas don't change and society needs to view adoption differently. Adoption Connect states that," as with any societal pendulum, there is often an overcorrection before finding the median". The world will have to fight for a change in the stigmas before everyone understands what adoption is. With time, society will be able to see that adoption has a positive outlook. People need to educate themselves on what it is like to be the "adoptive" parents and children. Someone shouldn't be able to judge if they haven't walked a mile in someone else's shoes.
" Your child is so lucky to have been adopted by you".
" Do you want children of your own?"
" Have you ever been able to see your real mom". ( Brenner, 2016)
These are some of the ignorant questions and statements that "adoptive" families get. These are the types of question that can show how the stigma of adoption is still around. If someone would truly answer these questions, society would be able to change their view on adoption for the better. When someone comes up to you and says, " Your child is so lucky to have been adopted by you". People in my life have always said, "She isn't lucky. We are because she was the greatest gift someone could've given to us". "Adoptive" parents are the ones who are able to be given the life of another child and nurture them with as much love just as any other child. The only way for the stigmas to change is to allow for society to create an open dialogue and educate themselves, otherwise the view society has on adoption will be the same.
Here is a link to the video of Kelly and Stan- A Family Through Adoption and what it was like for them:
http://ichooseadoption.org/videos
Other Links:
https://adoption.com/how-to-answer-ignorant-questions-about-your-adoptive-family
https://adopt-connect.com/pregnant/addressing-the-stigma-of-adoption/
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I liked that you talked about the "your child is so lucky to have been adopted by you," part. I agree with the fact that the parent is lucky to have the child. Its not the child's fault that they are in the adoption system so they shouldn't be the lucky ones the parents are. I also agree with the stigma around adoption needing to be changed. I personally was very uneducated about adoption and now since reading this I have a little more of an idea on the subject. I use to see it as a negative but reading this now I see it as a positive. It is a way for people to have a child when they couldn't have one themselves. Also I like to see a positive view about a woman and adoption, there always seems to be negativity around that situation and a lot of women are shamed for it. I think situations happen and sometimes you have to make decisions that are incredibly hard and I don't think a woman should be shamed for it. Love to see a positive idea on a mostly negative subject!
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